Description
This is a story about a boy who wanted to be kind and loving but was raised by wolves and monsters who taught him to choose violence and aggression. As the boy grew to be a man, he wanted to be a protector of women, but ended up being what girls and women needed protection from. As a young adult, he saw women as his to take. He lied, cheated, and scammed his way through life until he couldn’t.
This is his moving account of discovering healthy masculinity from the inside out. His journey has been sensational at times and unbelievable at others, but for many readers, it has been absolutely inspiring. Will the hungry wolves outlast the desire to be loving and beautiful? What role can men play in making the world safe for women?
Can men truly change?
We lose so many men. Not everyone finds their way to the other side. Yet there is hope in witnessing the depth and commitment of a person willing to try to be better without knowing exactly how. This memoir captures one man’s struggle to transcend his past and imagine an entirely new future for himself, premised on compassion, care, and advocacy.
This is a story about hope. We do not have to be what they did to us, but it’s our responsibility to do something about it. I wish for you to feel loved, accepted, respected, and connected, and to live a life as the person you always knew you could be.
A stirring memoir about childhood abuse and trauma, violence against women, addiction, recovery, spirituality, hope, and a balanced, healthy masculinity. An extraordinary journey that includes 10 days with the Dalai Lama, a four-month silent retreat, and a solo backpacking expedition in the Gobi Desert of Mongolia.
If you are ready for a raw and impactful memoir with redemption and transformation through personal and spiritual healing, Raiseed by Wolves, Possibly Monsters is that memoir!
Thomas J Murray
Good medicine for a world where masculinity is evolving
A gritty and honest look at a long and inspiring journey from the little seen shadows of our culture into a field of hopefulness, integrity, and healing.
Elana Balch
Raw, insightful, centers healing
A very raw and insightful story. Not prescriptive but rather descriptive of his own experiences in ways that are hopeful and center growth and healing.
Lisa
Raw, transformative and ultimately hopeful
This is a white knuckle ride through someone else’s nightmare and a deep insight into the origins of toxic masculinity. It’s hard to look away from the rawness of this and there are times when it’s really hard to process it all- however it’s so worth doing so. Ultimately it’s a story of hope and redemption and reveals a powerful formula of how to go from being a ‘monster’ (as the author calls himself) to being a caring, loving human who is dedicated to the safety of all woman and the evolution of men. I am left feeling like if the author can do this, there is hope for the rest of humanity.
Tim
inspiringly vulnerable and reflective
Reading this hits like sitting in your driveway in the passenger seat of your friend’s car, at first to finish the story he was telling while driving you home, but time disappears as the 4AM stillness creates space for connective conversation. So many of my memories of deep sharing amongst men are literally in shadows, having stumbled into the vulnerability in the dark. The care and candor in Michael’s conversational writing transports me back to those memories of moments when men were willing to share their more challenging stories, allowing me to witness the weight they carry still.
While I haven’t finished, this has already helped me shine a light on my own challenging stories. Michael’s courage to be vulnerable is striking, and his willingness to be imperfect, humble, and honest is nourishing. It is reminding me over and over that while there is always more growth to be achieved, none of us have to finish growing to deserve love and compassion.
Gloria Lesher
Fantastic Memoir with Unexpected Twists and Turns
“Raised by Wolves, Possibly Monsters” is an indie-published memoir that makes you feel you are living the author’s amazing life right along with him. Entire conversations are repeated verbatim; meals are described in a way that makes you feel yourself tasting the food; romantic encounters are treated with delicacy. It’s difficult to remember this level of detail from one’s past. But memoir is creative nonfiction, so Swerdloff’s detailed descriptions give the narrative a mind-blowingly real feel.
Swerdloff says he wrote the book to say, “I’m a man, and I’ve done some horrible things in my life to girls, women, and myself. I’ve changed, and so can other men.” As a recovering addict who’s been clean and sober for decades, he has lived a life that he admits “resembles a crazy novel more than someone’s actual story.” Whew, that’s an understatement! Swerdloff’s journey begins with his youth, where he lived with a father who hits on 14-year-old girls and a brutal older brother who ends up in prison. Swerdloff’s mother teaches him how to cook, clean, do laundry, buy clothes, and do all other household chores, so he doesn’t grow up incapable of caring for himself like his father.
In Swerdloff’s early adulthood, he hates that he sees himself as “an Italian-Jewish guy working part-time at Radio Shack, hiding from the Feds and the people I had robbed along the way.” He ends up in a mental hospital. “Life had beaten me, and I knew it,” he writes. Once out of the hospital, Swerdloff is introduced to the energy therapy called “Reiki,” and begins teaching it. He travels to Mongolia and gets in touch with the “Divine Masculine” inside himself during an amazing months-long trek in the Gobi Desert. His encounters with Muslims in the surrounding countries are both terrifying and heartwarming.
Once back in Manhattan, he gets into freestyle, ecstatic dance, and becomes one of the organization’s DJs. Then the memoir takes off on in an entirely unexpected direction (like life itself!). I won’t spoil it by describing this twist. Swerdloff’s message, repeated throughout the book, is that the same skills, traits, and talents that made him a successful criminal also made him an exceptional counselor, coach, and Reiki Master. I received an advance review copy at no cost and without obligation from this author.
P. Spielman
Unusual wld tale of pain and self-discovery
My initial hit was this was a book for men, lots of sex and excitement and looming memories of a violent past. However, it soon became a wonderful story of personal discovery, painful, but real. I got more excited when Michael started his recovery from substance use and abusive family with amazing spritual experiences. His wild travels were very compelling– hitchhiking through Manchuria and meeting amazing people over many months! It’s a very unusual book.
Anthony Avina
Insightful and Vulnerable…A Must-Read Memoir!
The author’s story’s raw honesty and emotional impact were refreshing and memorable. The way the author can honestly depict and write out the painful experiences of his childhood, as well as the actions he himself took to continuously perpetuate this harmful lifestyle and the transformative experience of bettering himself, made this such a phenomenal memoir. The imagery found in his writing style and the importance of his ability to hone in on the conversational aspect of his writing, allowing readers to feel as if they have been having a true heart-to-heart with the author, made this an engaging read.
The true heart of this story is both the author’s transformative journey and the theme of toxic masculinity, and the impact toxicity can have on child development as a whole. The heartbreak of the author’s experiences in childhood, primarily his father’s actions, and the role addiction and toxicity played in his life were so poignant. The author never shies away rom the challenging moments, from his lying and cheating to his hospitalization in a mental hospital and the reformative path he found afterward in healing energy and Reiki as a whole.
Ann Jenneman
Worth it to get through the tough beginning, such an inspiring human emerges!
Hard to read the first part, but it was very inspiring to hear the story of Michael’s beautiful transformation into such a conscious, caring human. As a woman, this was my first glimpse into what the “divine masculine” means, and I really appreciate hearing it. Also, I am inspired to find out more about Reiki now.
Mark E. Cowan
a beautiful evolution
This book is raw and real, shocking and beautiful. It’s one man’s personal evolution from his innate nature, through his family circumstances and eventually back to his loving nature. It gives me hope that people are not fixed but able to evolve, realize their mistakes and be better humans.
Mark Houghton
Insight through lifes experiences
A powerful, honest sharing. A biography following the Authors growth through life”s experiences. A story of walking a path through life experiences of personal evolution and wisdom. A beautiful book.