During the early years of my sobriety, I regularly attended a Monday night AA meeting between the mall and the farm. It was the second or third meeting when I saw Barb walk into the room, hurriedly appearing out of breath just as the meeting began. I noticed how many people smiled in her direction, searching for eye contact. It felt like now that she was present, the meeting could begin. Barb was 24 at the time and had been sober for six years.
Barb was not my regular “type.” Her clothes were beaten up and worn down; her sneakers were dirty; she had long, dark brown hair that was wavy and pretty unattended, and she didn’t wear any makeup. What struck me about Barb upon her arrival was that she was gorgeous, beautiful, and authentic without doing anything. She was utterly Barb. When she shared later in the meeting, every set of eyes and ears in the room was attentive. Her voice, smile, sadness, warmth, playfulness, and intelligence hijacked whatever random thought or feeling I was obsessing about at the time.
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